17/5/2012

Its 17 May 2012 already

Which means that I'm officially 19 years and 1 month old

Fuck the world, how come the time can pass so fast one

I really can't believe 1 month passed by like that only

It just like eating, sleeping, shitting and the time gone :/

And I really can't and don't want to imagine that 11 months more I'm going to be 20 years old wtf!!! :'(

Last time when I'm still below 18y/o and still living in my hometown and still got a little bit orang kampung minded

I used to think that education is everything in our life if we want to success

After kintergarden we must go to primary school and then secondary school

And we must get a straight A's in SPM and after that, we have to get our ass up IMMEDIATELY and find a college or university and continue our tertiary education

The battle is still haven't ended yet, we have to work really hard and go to oversea and continue study

Then we must study hard in oversea and get a first class results

Finally graduated and IMMEDIATELY get a white collar job and earn a lot of money

All these have to be in continue form, cannot stop, 1 year also cannot!!!

This is what I used to think before this

But when I came to KL last year, I saw a lot of new things that I will never experience in my hometown

I started to ask myself, if I do what I used to think, doesn't that will make me very tired?

Doesn't that will make me lose the opportunities to enjoy my young times, my teenager times?

And the answer that I give myself is a YES!!!

I started to realise that in order to success in life, there's not a MUST to only rely on education

Certain people can still success and earn a lot of money without education but of course they need opportunities and talents.

When the other people is enjoying with their friends outside there, I'm still facing the books and study for the exam in order to get the best certificate in education

When the other people is enjoying with their love, I'm still giving the same bullshit reason that I have to concentrate on study and only will start a relationship after I had success

I started to realise that when the time had passed, it won't come back

When I'm 30y/o, I won't enjoy as crazy as I will when I'm 18y/o

But I can still manage to study what I can study when I'm 18y/o in the age of 30y/o

My lecturer once told me,

Why we have to rush rush and rush until we lose a lot of beautiful things?

Why don't we slow down our steps and enjoy as much as possible when we're still young?

Most Asian, especially Chinese, they're very kia su (scare to lose)

They like to do anything and everything in one time

I admit that I'm one of them too BUT only in previous, not now.

Going to UK and study is always my dream

But I have to bow to the reality that its not easy to get it

Its need a solid determination which I think I don't have because I still want to enjoy my young times

And its very expensive to go there too

One of my friend who studied in UK told me that he needs 1k pound per month for daily expenses only and this still haven’t includes the rent

This means that I need at least RM5k per month in order to survive in UK

I know most of people will said;

"There's a thing called scholarship and you can work part-time there"

I said;

"I still want to enjoy teenager times and I don't have that much time to study everyday. I don't want to rush like hell when at the end I'm still reaching the same destination."

I know its kinda stupid to think like this but I'm sure that I will not be happy if I wasted my young times just on education

So I decide that I will still study but not as hardcore as I used to be last time

I will slow down my steps and perhaps take a short break from study

Then go to work and expand my social circle and enjoy my times with friends

And continue to study when I feel that its time for me to pick the books up again

I only young once, when the time had gone, it won't come back.

Good luck ❤